Unborn, Undying: October 2003

Friday, October 31

Yay! 600 visitors! =D

Wednesday! What a great night that was, J. and I went to see a performance of Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No. 3...my word, what a lovely piece of music that is..especially the first movement with that haunting first 2-3 bar melody.. just sticks in your head and refuses to leave :-p

It of course reminded me of my trip to Russia 2 years ago, when I stumbled on this famous graveyard in the Aleksander Nevsky Lavra. The monastery was just across the street from the Hotel Moskva and since we had the evening free I said what the hey! I'll pop across and maybe catch an Orthodox service with the incense and the priests singing that lovely Orthodox chant. As it was I caught the tail end of some service or other, and as I wandered around the now gently mouldering monastery I saw a small booth offering entry to the graveyards that flank the entryway to the grounds. Curious as to why they would be charging entrance to a graveyard, I paid my pittance and entered. To my surprise, I soon found myself in front of Dostoevsky's grave! I was so shocked that it took a few minutes for me to realise that it was the Dostoevsky and not any other.. The list of famous Russians buried there is quite amazing as you'll see from the link. I was just annoyed that I had chosen that day not to carry my camera with me, and the sun was quickly setting. I decided instead to soak up the melancholy atmosphere; it was a lovely fall day, with just a light misting rain from time to time, the leaves were still golden up in the trees, and the wind swayed them gently in its cradling breeze. From time to time a crow would caw and startle me out of my reverie.. there was no-one else in the graveyard and it was just perfect for solitary meditation...It was a wonderful couple of hours that will stay with me forever, every time the leaves begin to turn and the wind begins to bite, I am transported back to that time and place that lies now forever in my memory...

Enjoy your Samhain folks, and take some time out to remember those who have passed on...

Tuesday, October 28

Mama say mama sah mama you suck! x 3

Rockin out to Yoda and Greenpeace :-D

Monday, October 27

Are you ready for a break?

I'm not quite strung up by the wrists, but I am dying for a break from these sophomoric exams that I have to grade by the seemingly millions.. They sap the blood and tire the brain like hyperactive leeches.

Bah. Now I don't feel like going to kendo even though I skipped all last week 'cause of the cold I had.

Evil students.

We hates them we does.

Nasty

Tricksy

False

Friday, October 24

And while yet in my flesh...

Now I can say with Isaiah, "Woe is me, for my eyes have seen the glory of the Lord."

It was magnificent!

Of course, it had to be one of the coldest nights since I've been in Columbus! J. couldn't come with me (sadness) so I took the bus downtown just for hoots :-) There were plenty of hoots to be had! There were these three black girls laughing and joking all the way down High Street. It took all I could to stop myself laughing along with them. That would have been just plain rude :-p

I get off the bus, walk across the street and bang! There's the club, with a huge line already outside the door! It's 9.50pm and the line already stretches 1/4 way down the block. I zip up my leather jacket and settle in to wait. A blue Geo drives slowly by, the window rolls down and a bearded face pops out...."Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssstoooooo!!!!!" Everyone in line chuckles at him as the Geo pulls around the corner and into the parking lot.

The line starts to move and we get in the club pretty soon. The interior is immaculate, a clean red and black colour scheme, an open plan interior with unobtrusive balconies and (the true sign of a great club) a DJ box visible from all corners of the club. Oh yes. Clean bathrooms! That blew my mind :-p

The warmup DJ's soon start spinning their stuff, first up was DJ Quantum I bet; playing chunky, funky house. Think Carl Cox with some of the edge taken off, toe-tapping, head nodding stuff all the same. The dancefloor is quickly crowded, but with people standing around and watching. No one is dancing yet. Seems they're saving their energy. Mark Mayhem comes on and begins to pump up the energy, playing some hard trance/hard house, energetic, hard nasty beats and it begins to get the crowd moving. The glowsticks come out and I make a move onto the dance floor.

The crowd's up for it; rave kids, yuppie metrosexual types, some clueless frat types, and a core of dedicated Tiesto fans t-shirts and laser message writers in hand. I even saw a small Dutch flag being waved at one point. Everyone's just waiting for Tijs to come out and the energy is palpable.

Midnight rolls around. Tiesto steps into the DJ box. The roar from the crowd is unbelievable! Hands up, flashes popping, people jumping up and down and screaming their heads off, chanting, "Ti-es-to! Ti-es-to!" and the man himself is just lapping it up, smiling and laughing as usual as he slaps on his first record. The crowd goes wild. The night has just begun. For the next 3 hours he had the entire crowd of 500 (?) by the balls. He played it hard, he played it deep, he played it nasty and most of all, he gave us what we wanted. Motorcycle- as the rush comes ? Yeah i got that. You want to hear my new single Traffic? Sure! How about an golden oldie, Radiohead- Street Spirit, just for kicks? It was one of the most intense events I've ever experienced. It was like I couldn't stop dancing even if I tried, he had us all in his spell, caught in a web of energy that just wouldn't let go. And when Tiesto started dancing with us as well, oh man, it just got louder, hotter and more energetic...

Trance is truly a spiritual thing

The DJ is a modern day shaman

The dance floor is the new church.

Perhaps.

All I know is, when a DJ I love and respect is on the turntables, I'm in ecstasy.

In Trance We Trust.

Thursday, October 23

In a few hours, I will be at the event of a lifetime....one of the 3 Dutch Trance Gods, the right hand man of the Trance Trinity, Tijs Verwest aka DJ (muthafuckin) Tiesto will grace the hallowed ones and twos.

I"M SOOO FUCKING EXCITED !!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!

And the best part is, in a coupla weeks I get to do it all over again! This time with Armin (too sexy for my shirt) van Buuren....my joy knows no bounds.

In trance we trust

Amen.

Wednesday, October 22

This is the substance of the Way of the Samurai. If by setting one's heart right every morning and evening, one is able to live as though his body were already dead, he gains freedom in the Way. His whole life will be without blame, and he will succeed in his calling.

-Hagakure-

Monday, October 20

All the Beautiful Things

The wonderful thing about asthma is the fact that you never know which attack may be your last. Even if you have mild asthma like I do, and use meds only infrequently, at the back of your mind is that tiny voice saying, "What if today is the day nothing works, maybe today you'll gasp your last."

I suppose in an existential sense, this close relation to one's own death is desirable, but on the other hand, it tends to cultivate a very nonchalant attitude towards one's own demise. I mean the past 2 days have made me much more aware and grateful for the day to day functionality that I take for granted. Things as simple as getting up out of bed, or stripping for the shower take on new significance when you have to slow your movements, wince at the pain in your joints and breathe slowly and regularly to avoid hyperventilation.

The really odd thing is that I have had countless asthma attacks, and each time I say that I will appreciate more the simple things I can do without wincing at the pain in my chest: walking down the street, running for a bus, climbing up a flight of stairs. The feeling of gratitude lasts for just a couple of days and then it is back to the ho-hum, that lazy un-selfconscious bitchery that becomes so ridiculous when you are fighting for breath at 2 am, sitting up in bed because you cannot breathe any other way, fighting for every precious sip of air, always face to face, dancing with the Jak o' Shadows

There have only been a couple of times that I have thought an attack would kill me, the last and most severe was at boarding school in Kagumo. It was 1998 and I was in Form Four, bunking with our house captain and my very good randy friend Kanyanjua (he was a daddy at 17 :-p). For some reason asthma likes to strike between 2 and 4 am, just when your body is at its laziest, and probablywhen your body's defenses are at their lowest functionality (which is bizarre if you think about it because asthma is a hyperimmune response!)

So there I was, stuck with my ineffectual inhaler, waiting for the pill I had hastily dry swallowed to kick in, and I looked out the window from my bed, and watched the moonlight play in the jacarandas outside and what was running through my head then was what a mess I was going to leave for Kanyanjua if I died in bed that night. At that point I was past caring, all I wanted was death or for my meds to kick in, anything to make it stop! At this point Kanyanjua startled me out of my reverie, he'd been woken by my wheezing. I reassured him that everything was in hand, and reluctantly he fell back to sleep, obviously suspicious that all was not well... The meds eventually kicked in and I made it through that night though I was weak and trembly for a week afterwards, those attacks take a lot out of you.

In a way I like the state of mind that I fall into when I'm going through an attack; the slightly fuzzy, warm and yet razor sharp consciousness that comes with all the different medications surging through your bloodstream. I imagine that's what the moment of death is like: clarity without attachment, peace and warmth and cogent thoughts.

So what was my point? Oh yeah, take a moment to appreciate all the things you take for granted, you never know when they might be taken away from you.

Thursday, October 16

It's Thursday, and as you all know, that means it's gooutandgetwastedinpreparationfortheweekend night...mmhmm..

Tuesday, October 14

Waaaaaaaaaah!!! Itai desu yo!!!

Man, kendo is going to kill me one of these days

Sunday, October 12

There's More to Life than Books you Know...

Ah Morrissey was so right, there's much more to life than Dan's dreary class and this weekend was just chock full of it. First things first, Kill Bill What a gorgeous bloody outrageous gem of a movie! I think this is the year of the tossed plot line, away with intricate plots and sneaky surprise endings, give us self indulgent, glossy, wipe that blood out of your eye sockets, seat popping fisticuffs..We saw that with the second Matrix movie and now with volume 1 of what promises to be a whopper of a two part series. (This is also the year of sequels/trilogies/what have you but that's another story). If you haven't seen it yet, run out right now and do it! The humongous number of references to other films is much too large and tedious for me to catalogue here, I am sure there are countless anoraks doing that as we speak, but I will point out that the final fight scene with Lucy Liu, both in the teahouse and out is pure kabuki theatre. Uma Thurman is clearly meant to be Bruce Lee in Game of Death and....okay I'll leave it at that :-D

I MUST go see it again, and for those kendokas out there, it'll put a little spring back in your step...hehehe...

This weekend was the first time I accompanied someone to one of "those parties" as their date. You know, the kind where the hosts say it's okay to bring someone which usually means that it's full to the gills with the usual hetero platter: girlfriends, wives, fiancees... That made it doubly pleasurable, first of all that I was invited *preen* and second that I was so obviously not on the menu! Thankfully there was one other black person there, I can only be a synecdoche for so much at one time thankyouverymuch. I could just feel the wheels turning in all those puzzled heads when I arrived with J...ahhh it was pleasurable and yet slightly disturbing all at the same time. Ha! Mindfucks!

Then the rest of the weekend was spent in pleasant lollygagging about the apartment with J. until work reared its ugly head and refused to be put off any longer. Sigh. Well, the Propaganda Assassin Squad shall return to fight once more! Muahahahaha! (You had to have been there :-p)

Tiesto! 10 Days!

oh and errr *bouncy bouncy*

This time, for real...

Thursday, October 9

Ahhh....thank Buddha the weekend is nigh

Wednesday, October 8

Assorted amusing quotes from yesterday:

"I get nervous when I hear things like penis envy."

"If God could part the Red Sea then maybe, just maybe, if you are reaaallly good, he can give you back your hymen."

(said to me) "Are you cheating on me with that lesbian?"

I'm going to kendo practice later this afternoon even though I feel like a hippo stomped on the right half of my body after the last practice...it was the fault of the advanced student I was training with who decided I should learn the kote and men strikes with a red oak bokken !!

Of course after about 30 strikes with the sword held up above my head, my arms were aching and the sweat dripping from my forehead. Those suckahs are heavy! The stance is a little difficult to get used to, this is where my previous training does not come in handy at all..I'm used to angling my back foot out a bit but that throws my hips all off square when I'm in chudan or indeed any stance, so I have been practicing walking "square" all over campus...needless to say my thighs did not appreciate it! :-p

Hopefully sensei will totter out and dazzle us with his swordsmanship. Apparently on Saturday he took on 4-5 challengers on one after the other and barely broke a sweat doing it...and the man's 70-something years old! If I'm half as sprightly at his age I will count myself lucky.

The good thing about kendo practice is I get to wear my karate pants from back in the day..yay! If I can find them..hahaha

Monday, October 6

Ohhh..everything hurts! Well not quite everything but my back, arms and wrists hurt like a biatch and my palm's beginning to callus...so how soon can I go back? Heh. I liked it a lot actually, the class isn't too large and I like the idea of being handy with a stick ;)

Not that I'm not already, but errr umm...ahem...you know what I mean... :-D

Gave a kick-ass lecture today :-) It definitely does help when you know what you are talking about, and I do know Kikuyu religion pretty well..hehehe... Yeah!

Going to kendo in about 30 mins, I hope I like it. Not sure whether to change clothes for it or not, since I am just going to observe and dekko the scene..maybe I'll just get my change outta my pocket, kneel in a corner and play mum :-p

Hooray for sublimated alpha male agression !! If I'm lucky I get to bop someone over the head with a bokken..heee :-D

Sunday, October 5

Heeeee! *bouncy bouncy*

A certain somebody is making me veerrrrrryyy happy !!

Heeeee! :-D

Saturday, October 4

Ahhhh...i love my Dad. He's been a professor for more than 30 years so of course I emailed him about teaching and how I was a wee bit worried that I would suck at it :-p and he sends me a great email about his own expriences and assuring me that I'd get better at it and even grow to love it...he said "Like fine wine, you'd get better and better each day" Isn't that smashing! Heeeee...

So this week has been pretty interesting, the work's piling up, I'm lecturing on Monday and I haven't lifted a finger (well not quite true but at least I know what books I'm using ) I finally have money in my account, yay! which is a maaaajor step forward for me. It means I can buy tickets to see Tiesto and AVB...which of course I took care of as soon as I could..haha..

Oh and I keep meeting these wonderful people, just one after the next...it's incredible, and it makes me feel very very lucky. So perhaps I made the right decision in moving here after all :-D

Wednesday, October 1

OK, so maybe I don't have to spill *all* the beans but I can at least tell you all that for the first time in a while, I'm happy :)

Unborn, Undying